


i wish you'd be as dirty as my car

by fotias



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Car Sex, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Robot Sex, Sex Pollen, Teasing, Tender Sex, friends to friends who have sex with each other, i guess. whatever, on god im gonna get yall into this ship!!!!!!!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:48:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23400343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fotias/pseuds/fotias
Summary: “Look, I-I… this is really hard to say but I just… uh. I—”“Out with it, man, c’mon.”“...I need you to fuck me.”There was a brief silence, during which Raiden considered opening the door and jumping out of the moving car.
Relationships: Raiden/Kevin Washington
Comments: 8
Kudos: 41





	i wish you'd be as dirty as my car

It was supposed to be a routine security mission, and Raiden kicked himself for somehow not having figured out by now that nothing ever went as planned.

But _this?_ An EMP-style grenade which seemingly hadn’t affected him at all while the standard-issue cyborgs around him dropped unconscious, which was now the only plausible explanation for why he couldn’t get himself to focus on anything other than getting railed?

Raiden hadn’t been expecting it, to understate it severely. At least the mission was over and he could redirect his attention to figuring out what the fuck was going _on._

He pulled up his codec. “D...Doktor.” The name slurred in his mouth; he couldn’t even speak clearly, much less think straight. “What… what’s… what the hell is wrong with me right now?”

“Ah, so you’ve noticed.” A laugh that was _way_ too damn casual for the circumstances.

Raiden bit down the urge to snap _of fucking course I noticed being insanely horny for no reason._ “So what is it? Did they do something or am I glitching?”

“Your heart rate is abnormally high, and your sense receptors seem to have been tampered with. Specifically, their sensitivity was increased to an unreasonable degree. It seems that the experimental grenade you were hit with uses sensory overload in order to incapacitate its victims, but you have many software countermeasures that kept you awake and functioning. Fascinating, is it not?”

He gritted his teeth, sick of having things explained to him. His brain was barely capable of processing it all on a good day, much less _now,_ when his libido was making it impossible to focus. “Yeah, spellbinding as hell. Dok, why am I…” Shit. Was there any intelligent way to word _why am I ridiculously horny?_ “...Uh. Like this?”

“I assume you’re referring to—”

“You know _exactly_ what I’m referring to.” God, and he’d thought talking to Doktor was _normally_ painful.

“Er… yes, well, that is… Your software countermeasures seem to have blocked the electronic aspects of the grenade, and your system has filtered out the more dangerous chemicals and prevented them from tampering with your hardware, but the haptic stimulation effect wasn’t countered. Additionally, your system isn’t equipped to remove what it’s determined to be the less deadly components of the sensory overload, which… ah… in this case, appears to be several compounds that, when isolated, act as… a sort of aphrodisiac.”

“...”

“...Raiden? Are you there?”

Seriously? Goddamn _seriously?_

“What the fuck, Dok.”

Raiden could hear him clap his hands together with an air of finality. “Well… it seems like your condition is otherwise stable. I’ll send a helicopter down so we can take a close look at—”

“No.” He’d taken to impatiently tapping his heel against the pavement, full of pent-up energy. This was fucking unbearable. Public indecency charges were the only thing standing between him and humping the nearest object at this point.

“...Raiden? Are you—”

“I said _no,_ ” he growled, closing his eyes. “Kev’s doing surveillance from a safe distance in the van, right? Send him to come get me.”

“...but surely you understand, it would be beneficial to study—”

Raiden let out a sharp, deliberate breath. “Doktor. With all due respect, you are not _studying_ jack shit until I calm down. Understand?”

“...I’ll notify him at once.”

“Thanks.” Raiden cut the connection immediately, and took in another heavy artificial-lungful of air. _Fuck. God. Finally._

* * *

“You’ve really been through it, huh?”

“You have _no_ fucking idea.”

Raiden froze mid-movement, awkwardly cramming himself into the backseat of the self-driving van. _Did_ Kev know what was going on? If he did, he had a hell of a poker face.

“...Uh, what did he say about it?” _Smooth as ever. Jesus._ Half his body was still sticking out of the van, and his arms shook noticeably. It was uncomfortable. Why was he even holding this position?

“Get in already and I'll tell you. Did they rattle your brain around or something, man?”

“Ha! Ha.” Raiden barked out, throwing himself into the seat, hoping he wasn't as red as he felt. “Uh, so… uh…”

“He didn't tell me much other than something about a new EMP. You got a concussion or something?” Kev turned the key, routed the van towards Maverick HQ. Something about being in a moving car made the situation infinitely worse.

“Uh. No, I… uh…” _Jesus._ This was becoming unbearable. He was overwhelmingly hot, he couldn't sit still, and his brain felt like it was turning to syrup.

_Fuck it._

“They, uh, really. Kev, can I… uh. A-ask a favor?”

He raised an eyebrow, but entertained the notion. “What’s up?”

“Look, I-I… this is really hard to say but I just… uh. I—”

“Out with it, man, c’mon.”

“...I need you to fuck me.”

There was a brief silence, during which Raiden considered opening the door and jumping out of the moving car.

“...Uh.”

He swallowed, painful on his raw throat, and carefully studied Kevin’s expression. He didn't seem disgusted, which was a good sign; mostly he just looked confused, which Raiden… couldn't blame him for, at all.

“I mean.” A laugh burbled up, reflexive and nervous. _God_ , he was hot. “If—if you want, of course, obviously not if you don't want to, I’m just really f—” he bit his tongue, _hard_ , and of _course_ the taste of blood just made it worse— “...I really, uh. Something they hit me with, was… screwed up my senses. I’m really.” Was he even speaking English? Were these words? “I really just. Need something in me.”

Another palpable, _agonizingly_ awkward silence.

“And you’re really the only one I trust with this and you’re really nice and strong and funny and, and _really_ hot, god, and I’m sorry if that just totally ruined my chances with you. I just, I’m really. Fuck.” _I could probably jump out the window right now. As long as I protect my head I’d take the hit okay._

“I—Jesus.” Kevin lifted the collar of his shirt to wipe his brow, and of fucking _course_ it rode up and exposed his stomach, the trail of hair tantalizingly leading beneath his waistband, and Raiden took in a sharp and extremely obvious breath. “This is all moving kind of fast, don’t you think?”

_Shit._ “Yeah. Sorry.”

“Let’s do it.”

“Yeah, that’s—” Raiden paused, parsed what had actually been said.

_What?_ “What?”

Kevin shrugged, then grinned, and it was magnetizing. “I’ve liked you for a while, too. Didn't think it would shake out like this, but hey, I'll take it.” And then he fucking _winked._ What the hell was that supposed to even _mean?_

He quickly realized he’d been staring for a period of time that probably counted as impolite, and then finished processing that _holy shit Kev was going to have sex with him_ , and continued staring, not at anything in particular.

“...Rai? You good?”

His brain attempted to produce the words “I’m fine,” and they somehow came out as “Here? Like—like, right here?” Part of him recognized the utter insanity of the idea of _having sex in a moving car,_ but it was a very small part, and the rest of him was practically vibrating at the prospect of getting his guts—circuits?—rearranged sooner rather than later.

“I mean… if you need it that bad, then—”

“ _Yes,_ " Raiden half-gasped. “Yes, fuck. Now. Please?” _God what the fuck what the fuck_

“Yeah. Yeah, just lemme—” Kev’s face was stuck for a second on a disbelieving half-smile, the kind of expression you’d see on someone who had just been told he’d won the lottery and wasn't sure if he was being pranked or not yet. He turned, rerouted the car—”to my apartment, it’ll be easier,” he explained hurriedly—and dug through the glove compartment, grabbing lube, a condom.

Raiden, for his part, felt like spontaneously combusting.

The crawl to the backseat was appropriately awkward, but rewarded by the sight of Kev straddling him, that excited half-smile still on his face. “So… how do you want to do this?”

He was done being coy. “I—I don’t care. It doesn't matter, I just. _Please._ ”

“Rai—uh, no offense, but I have never fucked a robot before.”

“Y-you’re—ah—not a virgin, right?”

“I mean… no, but—”

“So it’s simple, just, _fuck_ , just _shove your dick in me,_ okay?” This was unspeakably frustrating.

“Raiden.”

Raiden sat up, sloppily clawing at Kev’s shirt, very much noticing how it hugged his pecs and biceps as he attempted to tug it off. “What.”

“You have been my coworker, my friend, and my crush for _years_ now and I’m not going to just _shove my dick in you_.” He gently wrestled Raiden away from his chest for long enough to kiss him—well, to kiss his upper lip, the rest of his jaw was still a little weird—and pulled away with an infuriatingly genuine, sweet smile. “I think we can give it a little more finesse than that, yeah?”

“Ah…. h-hah.” Raiden fell forward, his breath coming heavy, resting his forehead on Kev’s chest. “...okay, if it’ll make you feel better. But I, like. Seriously, really—”

“Yes, babe, we’ve established you’re crazy nuts horny.” He let out a huff of a laugh, ruffled Raiden’s hair. “We’ll get there, I promise.”

There was a short pause, and then Kev cut in before Raiden could start trying to undress him again. “So—uh. What’s the… situation, down there?”

“It’s—” Raiden paused, processing the question. “It’s, like, normal, just—we don’t have to do any prep.”

He raised an eyebrow, and Raiden felt his skin heat up by a few more degrees. “...Really?”

“Yeah, uh, I-I mean… y’know Dok is kind of a sleaze, right? So, uh, I’ve had some—” his breath caught in his throat— “modifications, so it, uh, shouldn't be too different.”

“...Modifications.”

“Um—yeah. Y-y’know… to make it easier.”

Kev shook his head. “You are _seriously_ something else.” He pulled his shirt off in a way that somehow made perfect sense—quick, no-nonsense, but still showy, like unwrapping a present. 

This was taking way too damn long. “ _Kevvvv,_ ” Raiden whined, sitting up and tugging at his waistband. “You’re killing me…”

“Remember, we’re taking this slow?” He grinned almost mischievously, placing a hand on Raiden’s chest and gently pressing him onto his back again. “We’ve got—” his gaze flicked to the dashboard— “like twenty minutes. Don’t pounce on me just yet.”

Raiden would have kept complaining if the hand pressed to his chest wasn’t currently driving him _insane_. _I’m so much stronger than him and I’m letting him push me around like this. A three hundred pound military cyborg, and he just holds me down like I weigh nothing…_ His heart was beating erratically, his mind racing, and he blurted out the first thing that came to mind: “You—you know I could tear you in half right now, right?”

Kev stopped moving.

_Fuck._ “I— wouldn’t actually do that. Obviously! I mean, just, like—” _Fuckfuckfuck_ “—like, I mean, I like you and stuff I’m just built to be super strong and you’re like—”

“You’re trying to say you like me pinning you down so you’re letting me overpower you, right?”

Raiden’s heart resumed beating. He nodded rapidly.

Kev gave a snort of laughter, shaking his head. “I could tell from the look on your face. You’re hilarious. Adorable.”

_God damn it._ Raiden whined, bouncing his leg, trying to vent the unbearable amount of pent-up energy in his muscles. “...J-just hurry up and fuck me, will you?”

“Tell me more about these _modifications_ so I can figure out what I’m about to get into first.” Keeping his hand firmly on Raiden’s chest, he finally started tugging off his pants, and _fuck_ this was going to be distracting.

“Uh…” He swallowed hard, straining his neck to look up at his partner. “...well, for starters, I have a dick?”

“Robot dick, huh?” Kev grinned and shook his head, taking his sweet time undressing. “On your combat body, seriously?”

“L-look, I…” Raiden trailed off, throwing an arm over his face. “...so it’s not _strictly_ necessary, but it makes me more comfortable, okay? Can we hurry up and just—”

He nodded, playfully pushing Raiden’s head back down with two fingers, purposefully ignoring the last thing he’d said. “I get it, I get it.” His gaze dropped down, and he paused. “...so, like, _where…_?”

_Is he_ trying _to embarrass me?_ “...it’s, uh, retractable.”

Kev raised a hand to his mouth to muffle a snort of laughter.

“Shut up!” Raiden whined, ignoring that he hadn’t technically spoken. “What else am I supposed to do?!”

“...Wear clothes like the rest of us?”

“Wh-what if they got ripped, or caught on something, or whatever?”

“Well, I mean—” Kev plucked lightly at one of the straps crossing his abdomen, eliciting a stifled moan from him— “what if one of these gets caught on something, huh?”

“Th-that’s… _ngh_. I—”

“You like that, huh? I’m starting to think you're just an exhibitionist.” Stripped down to his boxers now, visibly hard but apparently not in a hurry to do anything about it, Kev leaned down to press a quick kiss to Raiden’s lips. “Not that there's anything wrong with that…”

“Y-you’re the worst,” Raiden muttered, wrapping an arm around his shoulders in an attempt to keep him in place. His voice dropped to a lower, husky murmur, his hips bucking up instinctively. “Driving me fucking crazy…”

“Almost there, promise.” Kev kissed him again before pushing himself back up, Raiden’s hand trailing from his shoulder down to his wrist as he pulled away. “Now...about this springloaded dick of yours—”

“I thought you’d _never_ fucking ask,” Raiden nearly growled, the heat stirring in his chest becoming downright unbearable as he lifted his head and pulled his hand away. “I gotta—” he brandished his sharpened metal nails like a set of claws, pawing almost frantically at his chest for the clasp— “d-do it myself, so it doesn't—” his nail caught the slot in the tension strap, loosening the plate of carbon fiber between his thighs. He unclasped the second strap a moment later, leaving him exposed, his breathing labored.

“... _Fuck_ , you’re big.”

“I-I’m not gonna—”

“I know, I know.” Kev licked his lips, unable to tear his eyes away. “Just for show, huh?”

“Sh-shut up.”

It was a marvel of technology, really. Nine inches of body-safe silicone, with silvery nerve circuits visible just under the surface, glinting in the light.

“...Next you’ll tell me it vibrates or something.”

Raiden’s face somehow flushed redder. “I—uh. I-I can enable that if you want…?”

“I… uh, I’m good. God _damn._ ” He was back to that giddy half-smile.

“...now, ah…” Kev pulled himself out of his boxers, casually readying himself with a half-smile on his face. “...are you _sure_ about that not needing prep thing?”

_Finally, finally._ Raiden nodded for what felt like the fortieth time, not even pretending not to stare. “Y-yeah, it’s not an issue. Can we just—can you put—”

“—seriously, nothing at all? You don’t even need—”

“ _Yes_ I’m fucking sure.” Coughing deliberately, he looked away, not wanting to outright snap at him. “I-it’s self-lubricating and I… I can't actually feel any pain down there. U-unless I want to.” He clenched his jaw, internally pleading with himself to sound less like an insane person.

Kev seemed to take it well, though, smiling in an oddly fond way and carefully positioning Raiden’s legs into an easier resting position. “If you say so. Just don't wanna hurt you.”

…Raiden could have almost appreciated how thoughtful and gentle he was if he wasn't preoccupied with thoughts of _finally, finally, finally_ getting fucked properly, fantasies running out of control in his head, almost shaking with need. He mentally filed the gesture away to appreciate later, and, for now, mumbled, “...’m fine. Promise.”

“Then, can I—”

“ _Please,_ god.”

Finally seeming to get the message, Kev pushed into him slowly, almost gently, bracing himself against the car's movement as Raiden stifled a needy moan. “T-tell me if you're uncomfortable or want to stop, or—”

“S-start moving. P- _please,_ fuck.” Raiden’s head was spinning, and he could barely talk or think straight, and he was biting his tongue to keep from moaning any more, and Kev was _barely_ inside him. He smiled to himself, almost woozy, pondering: if he felt this good now, what kind of unimaginable bliss was awaiting him with orgasm?

“Y-you’re, _ngh_ —” Kev closed his eyes, letting out a short, quiet, yet deliberate breath as he pressed a little deeper into him, more muted than Raiden’s needy panting but still clearly pleasured. “... _fuck_ , you’re tight…”

At this point Raiden felt like whatever part of the brain kept him from trying to make stupid jokes had been shut down by his libido. “...i-it’s… _mmh..._ m-miracle of robotics, r-right?” _God, shut up._

To his mild relief, Kev laughed softly, keeping one hand firmly on Raiden’s thigh while the other reached up to cup his cheek, just for a moment. “I’m—” he made another surprisingly soft sound of pleasure— “i-interested in the human side of you too, you know.”

Again, Raiden would have been touched by this if he was capable of focusing on anything at all other than the matter at hand. He pushed his hair out of his face, then reached up to grab Kev’s shoulder, pulling him towards him with a gentle tug. “Just—fuck me, _please,_ fuck me. I-I want your cock so bad. Please…” His breath caught in his throat as he guided Kev closer, deeper, and suddenly he’d hit a desperately sensitive spot and his train of thought was overridden with _there there there right there._ He tossed his head back as an animalistic growl of a moan crawled its way out of his throat, gasping out, “ _Y-yes—there—give it to me—_ ”

Kev stuttered out a soft _f-fuck_ , caught off guard, and let Raiden guide him for another moment before falling into a steadier rhythm. He was more talkative than Raiden had expected, every so often murmuring something along the lines of _shit, yes, babe_ into his—well, where Raiden’s ears would be. Compared to Raiden, however, he might as well not have been talking at all; Raiden gasped and moaned and begged _more, fuck me harder, don’t stop_ loud enough to make Kev silently grateful that the streets had been evacuated.

Even being coaxed into thrusting into him relentlessly faster by Raiden’s nails clawing at his back to keep the movement of the van from jerking him away, Kev was… oddly gentle, almost intimate. It was a little bit weird, seeing as all he’d really wanted out of this at first was to get the weird EMP haptic-stimulation-stuff fucked out of him, but Raiden couldn’t say he didn’t enjoy his occasional soft, breathy comments, punctuated by him biting his lip slightly when he hit _just_ the right spot. “...Y-you’re really—built for this, huh…” Kev’s voice tightened—he was already close. “ _Ngh_ —you feel so fucking good…”

The sound of Kev’s voice was beginning to unravel him. He was drowning in the sensation of Kev inside him, frantically moaning incoherent pleas for _more_ and _harder_ , his senses overloaded as his hips bucked against him more and more intensely. “ _Ahhn_ —gh, _f-fuck_ , you’re so—” Everything, _everything_ was suddenly so much _more_ than Raiden had thought possible; Kev’s hips hitting his thighs and ass, Kev inside him, so deep and so _full_ , hitting pleasure centers he didn’t even know he had, Kev’s hands on his thigh and chest, Kev praising him so reverently, treating him _so_ well, fucking him just as hard as he needed, Kev, Kev, _Kev—_

—and Raiden came with his name on his artificial lips, a blissful shock rocking his body, electric sensations of pleasure coursing through his systems, bringing him high and letting him down into a _much_ more comfortable afterglow.

Kev slowed his pace, and he was _smiling,_ and it was somehow the most endearing thing Raiden had ever seen. “Y-you’re—way too cute. Fuck, c-can I…”

Even in his limp, blissed out state, Raiden managed a nod and a crooked grin, his breathing heavy. “Y-you take such good care of me… want you to come inside me. Yeah…”

It didn’t take much longer; he’d only needed to quicken his pace very slightly, not even close to how hard he’d been fucking him until just now. Kev was much more subtle—Raiden was suddenly glad he’d came first, or he wouldn’t have picked up on the slight twitch of his shoulders, the soft, deliberate exhale, the moan he only managed to stifle halfway. He let out a soft, needy whine as Kev filled him up again, then pulled out of him, the sound wet and soft, still so deliberate and careful.

Raiden let his head loll back, still panting slightly. “...Shit.” His brain was completely fried. “...God _damn_ …”

“...Feel better now?” Even now, there was a slight teasing edge to Kev’s voice as he produced a towel from somewhere. He looked remarkably put together, his breath only hitching slightly. “Everything back to normal?”

“I, uh… _shit_ , yeah.” He made his best attempt at a winning smile, but probably looked closer to the lovestruck idiot he felt like. Other than that, his head did feel a lot clearer than it had before, but he couldn’t resist asking— “...W-we should… again…?”

“Yeah, we should do that more often.” The laugh Raiden received in reply was maybe the best thing he’d heard all day. “Just to keep you from getting all riled up again…”

The van had stopped now—it wasn’t clear how long they’d been sitting there—and the newfound stability allowed Kev to lean down and press a soft, almost chaste kiss to Raiden’s cheek. “I think we can arrange that.”

**Author's Note:**

> stan raikev!!!!!
> 
> also please comment LOL


End file.
